VMAs (a Very Misfortunate Affair)

Don’t know if you had a chance to watch the VMAs but last night my room mates and I got to watch it live in the comfort of our very own living room. Basically it was all a bit BLAH compared to last year when the girls just dominated – Beyonce’s Single Ladies army, GAGA’s bloody mouth, Pink’s crazy crazy trapeze act, Alicia Keys (and Jay Z’s) New York.

This year was just overhyped BLAH. haha. You just would not believe how much advertising the VMAs got here. They’re huge. Every ad break featured the same VMA ad – they didnt even bother to be creative and change it up once and while.

THE U.G.L.Y: Hyped up

1. I mean, come on. Lady Ga Ga wannabe. She’s just weird but in a bad, try-hard way. Did not understand a word she mumbled. And Will.i.am WTF?! I just don’t get you anymore. And I don’t think i’m stupid. i miss your dreads! I do like your snkrs however.

2. My room mates put it perfectly – HE JUST WACK. HE NEED TO GET HIM SOME SWAGGER. Bieber needs to learn how to dance. Otherwise just stick to your mic stand. Seriously. And freakin’ cut your fringe its GAY. You’re not Zac Efron.

3. Kanye, Kanye, Kanye. Disappointing. I think he’s nothing without theatrics and visuals. And he ain’t Lady Gaga so it just doesnt work. He can’t sing. All he did in his performance was prance around on the big stage in his red suit and shoes (which did look pretty), press a coupla buttons on his little machine and sing into a mic synthesiser thingy to mask his HORRIBLE SINGING. You shoulda seen our faces in the living rooms, we were all just looking at one another with a look of WHAT THE FARK AM I WATCHING? on our faces. haha.

Just look at his lyrics “let’s have a toast for the douche bads, let’s have a toast for the douchebags”. Woah. How inventive.

The ballerinas were good though.


In a dufus voice: “Hi, my name’s kanye and I can press buttons on my little machine”

THE GREAT: Cut short.

1. PARAMORE/Bruno Mars – B.O.B who?
Um yeh I stick by belief that most of the time, the chorus sung by talented vocalists make the song not the rapper (not always but a lot of the times). Hayley from Paramore and Bruno Mars pretty much stole the limelight from B.O.B in my opinion. And at the end of the day trying to fuse three decent acts into one slot, whilst mr West up there gets a whole slot to himself is just cruel. Certainly made my eyes bleed.


What’s going on with your Do Bruno?


Hayley was class. BOB was like a monkey high on redbull.
Me and my roomate got way excited when ‘You are the only exception’ came on. They killed it. But again, CUT SHORT.

2. Robyn on fire. CUT SHORT. She caught me by surprise cos I didnt expect to see her here. She’s been in the game for YONKS..and finally she’s got america’s attention. She most certainly grabbed america by the balls with this explosive performance and pretty much made a Kanye-Bieber-Minaj burger out of them and devoured it – even despite the fact that it lasted just 35 seconds.

3. DRAKE so fine. Ok, ok so this guy did have a lot of hype behind him. And i was confused by it at first cos I’m always skeptical of artists who have hype but dont live up to it (e.g. Kanye West grr). But this guy’s performance, even depsite the fact that he had the always awesome Mary J Blige backing him up, was GREAT b/c it was subtle and didn’t rely on show and theatrics. And his lyrics are “dope”:

And Jason had this girl Tammy with a purple Bentley
How she got it I aint never get to ask
I just knew that she was fine like a ticket on the dash


FANCY.

4. GAGA’s meat. I don’t think GAGA needs explaining. She’s just kooky. And i love it. I also love steak.


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